10 Dec Winter Play
Do your children struggle when they go to the playground? Are they too tired to push the whirl, don’t have enough energy to swing themselves? Children the world over have been complaining – loudly – that it’s just too hard… and Dynamo has listened!
Thanks to the advancement of modern technology, the solution is here, and it may make parents feel nostalgic for their Saturday morning cartoons. Starting in the summer of 2016, Dynamo will offer an optional upgrade for every one of our pieces of commercial playground equipment: Robotic assistants known as Independent Drone Lethargy Extirpators.
Kindly automatons can stand watch beside each piece of play equipment, ready to do all the work when children come to the playground and save them from using any energy at all. IDLE units will push the whirls in circles – carefully regulating the speed for exactly the right amount of dizzy; push swings in tandem; or offer piggyback rides up & down all the climbers. Never again will tired little children have to make any effort.
Clever research into audio-mechanics frequencies has resulted in our invention of the most environmentally friendly power generation system based on capturing the harmonics of children’s whines and laughter. Each IDLE unit will also be fitted with a randomizer which will adjust the ratio of reaction to one type of harmonic or the other. This gives children an added element of adventure – discovering which type of feedback powers their IDLE unit best. IDLE units also gain a power boost through the olfactory insufflation of caffeine aromas from adults passing through the playground areas.
Dynamo’s new IDLE units are sure to be hugely effective in saving the children of the world from excessive effort. The initial product release will have limited quantities – call to reserve yours now!
We hope you enjoyed our April Fool’s joke this year.